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Game of Thrones season three was back on screens on this side of the water last night on Sky Atlantic.
If you were one of the 7 people in the world who didn’t watch it because you haven’t caught up yet, never fear! We are here with this handy cheat sheet to make sure you’re a bit more up to speed.
We’ve tried to keep it as spoiler-free as possible, but there are a few pitfalls so if you don’t want to know anything at all, stop reading now.
Ok, so if you’re still with me, here’s some of what Game of Thrones has had to offer so far…
1. Boobs. Lots of boobs.
If there’s anything they love on Game of Thrones it’s a good old topless eyeful and a bit of the beast with two backs. And they’re not ones to shy away from a spot of incest too.
Do NOT watch it with your parents in the room.
That’s Lily Allen’s little brother, Alfie, in the nip.
2. Dragons
Season 3 is when the dragons really come into their own. They belong to Daenerys Targaryen (the blonde one up there), who’s trying to regain the Iron Throne.
They even have their own memes.
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3. The Lannisters
Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion, Tywin and Joffrey are the ones you need to worry about for the time being.
This blonde bunch represent one of the great houses of the seven kingdoms of Westeros.
They’re a hateful bunch at the best of times (although Tyrion and Jaime might surprise you) and Joffrey (played by Irish actor Jack Gleeson) will make to wish you could reach into the TV screen and give him an almighty dig.
Get lost Joffrey (HBO)
4. What’s this Westeros place then?
It’s the continent that most of the action takes place on, and is mostly controlled by the realm of the Seven Kingdoms.
It’s divided into a number of regions: The North, The Vale of Arryn, The Riverlands, The Westerlands, The Iron Islands, The Crownlands, The Stormlands, The Reach, Dorne, Beyond The Wall.
Beyond the Wall is separated from the rest of the continent by – surprise surprise – a wall, guarded by the Night’s Watch. There are terrible awful things beyond the Wall.
Also known as White Walkers, they are just one of the terrifying things that exist beyond the wall.
You wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley (HBO)
6. The Starks
House Stark is another one of the Great Houses of Westeros.
Ned Stark, his wife Catelyn and their kids Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon and not forgetting Ned’s bastard son Jon Snow are all big players in Game of Thrones.
Arya is our favourite. She’s handy with a sword, passes for a boy when needs be. You will find yourself rooting for her.
Thursday 26 December, 2024
Thursday 26 December, 2024
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6 Game of Thrones basics you need to know
IT’S FINALLY HERE!
Game of Thrones season three was back on screens on this side of the water last night on Sky Atlantic.
If you were one of the 7 people in the world who didn’t watch it because you haven’t caught up yet, never fear! We are here with this handy cheat sheet to make sure you’re a bit more up to speed.
We’ve tried to keep it as spoiler-free as possible, but there are a few pitfalls so if you don’t want to know anything at all, stop reading now.
Here’s a sloth buffer just to be sure.
“Hey guys. Have you seen my dragons?” (Imgur)
Ok, so if you’re still with me, here’s some of what Game of Thrones has had to offer so far…
1. Boobs. Lots of boobs.
If there’s anything they love on Game of Thrones it’s a good old topless eyeful and a bit of the beast with two backs. And they’re not ones to shy away from a spot of incest too.
Do NOT watch it with your parents in the room.
That’s Lily Allen’s little brother, Alfie, in the nip.
2. Dragons
Season 3 is when the dragons really come into their own. They belong to Daenerys Targaryen (the blonde one up there), who’s trying to regain the Iron Throne.
They even have their own memes.
3. The Lannisters
Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion, Tywin and Joffrey are the ones you need to worry about for the time being.
This blonde bunch represent one of the great houses of the seven kingdoms of Westeros.
They’re a hateful bunch at the best of times (although Tyrion and Jaime might surprise you) and Joffrey (played by Irish actor Jack Gleeson) will make to wish you could reach into the TV screen and give him an almighty dig.
Get lost Joffrey (HBO)
4. What’s this Westeros place then?
It’s the continent that most of the action takes place on, and is mostly controlled by the realm of the Seven Kingdoms.
It’s divided into a number of regions: The North, The Vale of Arryn, The Riverlands, The Westerlands, The Iron Islands, The Crownlands, The Stormlands, The Reach, Dorne, Beyond The Wall.
Beyond the Wall is separated from the rest of the continent by – surprise surprise – a wall, guarded by the Night’s Watch. There are terrible awful things beyond the Wall.
Game of Thrones Wikia
5. Zombies
Yes, you heard me. Zombies.
Also known as White Walkers, they are just one of the terrifying things that exist beyond the wall.
You wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley (HBO)
6. The Starks
House Stark is another one of the Great Houses of Westeros.
Ned Stark, his wife Catelyn and their kids Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon and not forgetting Ned’s bastard son Jon Snow are all big players in Game of Thrones.
Arya is our favourite. She’s handy with a sword, passes for a boy when needs be. You will find yourself rooting for her.
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