NOTED LEATHER JACKET-wearer and Grand Designs presenter Kevin McCloud is in Dublin today to appear on the Late Late Show.
He’s also been doing some… em… sightseeing.
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In an homage to the return of Grand Designs to our screens, we’re put together a list of the things that are guaranteed to happen in every episode.
Couple living in a caravan
No it’s fine. We’ll just live in this 10 x 8 box with the kids and granny for the foreseeable future. Sure it will be an adventure.
Curved walls nightmare
Why do they always insist on the curved walls? Why? WHAT’S WRONG WITH RIGHT ANGLES?
Inexperienced project manager
This is how it plays out:
- The wife/husband announces they’re going to be the project manager.
- Kevin does a sharp intake of breath and a head shake of disapproval.
- Kevin tries to hold in an “I told you so” as it all falls to sh*t.
Kevin pitches in
He’s not above helping out with some roofing or hay bale insulation.
A timber frame is ordered from Scandanavia
It’s delivered on 17 trucks that don’t fit up the driveway.
A pregnancy
Wherever Kevin McCloud goes, a pregnancy follows. Just saying.
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Freezing cold
Winters seems to last 7 months in Grand Designs land.
Kevin does a sceptical piece to camera
He doesn’t think they’re going to finish on time. He definitely doesn’t think they’re going to be on budget.
Baby appears out of nowhere
Somewhere along the way a baby appears on a hip, and Kevin waves awkwardly at it. It looks suspiciously like him.
Seven squillion pounds over budget
Inevitable.
But, THEY’VE DONE IT
Kevin is forced to eat his words as the finished house is revealed.
Marriage is in tatters, but by god they installed the 3 billion pound lighting in the guest bathroom and got that Welsh slate up on that roof and you’d better believe they’re going to live together bitterly under it.
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