1. Saying “Grand, thanks!” when someone says “Heya, how are you?” and not asking them back
Usually said in transit when neither of you want to stop and talk.
2. Having to wipe your hand on your jeans before you shake hands with someone because you’ve been holding a pint
It usually goes a little something like this: awkwardly switch the pint from one hand to the other, furiously wipe your wet hands on your jeans and then go in for the kill.
Way to make a good first impression!
(Tip: just hold the pint with your left hand in future.)
3. Accidentally saying “You too!” to the waiter when he tells you to enjoy your meal
Just kill us.
4. When you’re waiting on 1c change and you don’t know whether to walk away or stick it out
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Do I look extremely stingy if I wait? Are they legally obligated to give it to me? Do I sound like an arsehole if I tell them to “keep the change”?
HELP!
5. Not knowing how to communicate to the taxi driver that you’re not up for a chat
Act aloof or just say it outright?
The struggle is real.
6. Not knowing whether or not to go in for the cheek kiss
*goes in for kiss, realises midway it’s not happening, grazes ear with lips*
7. Saying “Sorry?” when you can’t hear the person in the pub before eventually giving up and pretending you’ve heard them
*laughs*
8. Having a conversation with someone and not having a bull’s notion what their name is
And you can barely hold a conversation with them because you’re racking your brains trying to figure out their name. Aisling? Aoife? Ailish?
9. Completely making a ball on a high five and pretending it didn’t happen
There’s no other way around it.
10. Walking out of the office with someone… and then you’re both going the same way
And the conversation continues until one of you decides to bite the bullet and take a long way home just to end the awkwardness.
“I’m going this way…”
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