Flickr/Images_Of_Money

A WOMAN IN Canada was angry with her husband after he left her for another woman.

So she did what any self-respecting modern individual would do: stuck up an all-caps ad on Craiglist. She invited people for a:

LAST MINUTE SPONTANEOUS ESTATE SALE. HUSBAND LEFT US FOR A PIECE OF TRASH. SELLING EVERYTHING WHILE HE IS GONE THIS WEEKEND WITH HIS FLOOZIE.

There were many items on the list, including “electrical appliances, toys, games, ping pong table, foosball table” as well as some of the ill-advised husband’s favourite possessions:

ALSO SELLING HIS FAVORITE RED LEATHER THEATRE SEATING SOFAS [...] LOTS OF TOOLS WHICH HE DIDN’T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO USE [...] BRAND NEW SLIDING GLASS DOOR THAT HE NEVER GOT INSTALLED IS AVAILABLE TOO.

She added:

I WANT THE HOUSE EMPTY ON MONDAY WHEN HE RETURNS BECAUSE THAT WILL BE A SHOCK FOR HIM TO SEE.

And included details of her own celebratory activities, plus an extra dig:

DON’T COME TOO EARLY (LIKE HE DID) BECAUSE I WILL BE THOUROUGHLY ENJOYING SOME WINE WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS THIS EVENING AS WE CLEAN OUT ALL THIS STUFF AND LIKELY BE NURSING HANGOVERS IN THE MORNING. SO PLEASE SPEAK SOFTLY TO THE LADIES WEARING THE SUNGLASSES: )

Anyone looking for a new rig-out, though, is likely to be disappointed:

THERE ARE NOT ANY OF HIS CLOTHES FOR SALE THOUGH AS WE WILL HAVE ALREADY BURNED THOSE IN THE DRIVEWAY.

Right then.

This is the most incredible Irish accent you’ll hear this Paddy’s weekend>

Couple go to rob a bank… and take the kids along>