Sunday 22 December, 2024

Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's breakup is causing a Twitter meltdown

So many theories.

Ian West Ian West

CHRIS MARTIN AND Gwyneth Paltrow announced their separation yesterday after more than a decade of marriage.

In a statement, they called the move a “conscious uncoupling”.

Naturally, Twitter had a bit of a meltdown. There were theories, theories everywhere. All of them unfounded. Here are some of the most popular:

1. National differences

What if Chris Martin JUST found out Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't British.
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) March 25, 2014

Anne T. Donahue / Twitter

2. Lifestyle decision

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have separated in a hand-crafted artisanal farm-raised braised conscious uncoupling, $38,000 from Tiffany.
— Ali Davis 🏳️‍🌈 (@Ali_Davis) March 25, 2014

Ali Davis / Twitter

3. We are all at fault

The world never came up with a couple name for Gwyneth and Chris so basically this is all our fault!!! #Gwyis #Chrineth
— Kate Spencer (@katespencer) March 25, 2014

Kate Spencer / Twitter

4. Artistic problems

Gwyneth & Chris, tired of telling white lies about the mediocrity of each others' work, divorce, citing "irreconcilable similarities".
— Mark Colvin (@Colvinius) March 26, 2014

Mark Colvin / Twitter

5. Therapeutic breakdown

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6. Nutritional issues

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7. Obama

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8. Coldplay

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RIP Chrineth.

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