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Which Clongowes Lad Are You And What Soft Drink Will You Get?

We’re only nipping out in the Punto once.

May 27th 2017, 9:30 PM 27,397 Views 4 Comments

If the above combination of words mean nothing to you, please watch this sketch by Irish comedian Tony Cantwell and come back to us. Now, let’s discover who you are and, more importantly, which soft drink we’ll be getting you in the Punto.

We're just nipping into town now. What do you want?
BWG
A snackbox
A cod and chips

A breakfast roll (only if they have them)
Pick a Punto you'd be happy to be seen driving in public...
FIAT
Gumtree

On a scale of 1-10, how notionsy is your middle name?
Amazon
1 (solid, pure notion-less name)
4 (standard enough, maybe with additional fada)

7 (pure notions)
10 (beyond parody)
Now, pick a fictional Irish character who bests represents you:
Ross OCK
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly
HatTrick
Niamh Connolly

Geronimo
Eilis Lacey
And finally... are you thirsty, man?
Yes!
Eh... no
Answer all the questions to see your result!
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Ploon and you're getting a Club Orange, man
Your parents are going to be so proud of you.
Share your result:
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Iasc and you're getting a Sprite, man
You're a thirsty guy.
Share your result:
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Neen and you're getting a San Pelligrino, mate
I'll get it for you baby.
Share your result:
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Gearroin and you're getting a Pepsi Max, man
Will someone wake up Gearroin and ask him if he wants a bloody soft drink.
Share your result:
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Oisin and you're getting a Club Rock Shandy, man
Mate.
Share your result:
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Frantine and you're getting a Lilt, mate
Only nipping out in the Punto once!
Share your result:
Tony Cantwell
You scored out of !
You are Marius and you're getting a 7UP Free, man
Only getting a breakfast roll if they have them, you bellend!
Share your result:

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About the author
David Elkin
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