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You’ve piled all of your clothes into the machine, added whatever liquids and powders you needed to add, pressed ‘start’ and minced away, smug and delighted….
This is worse than ‘the cycle never started’ because now you’re stuck with a load of wet clothes, a drum that’s half full of water, and the probability that your washing machine is broken.
Let’s just hope that this doesn’t turn out to be the cause:
Monday 23 December, 2024
Monday 23 December, 2024
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The 16 stages of clothes washing rage
THERE ARE SO many rage pitfalls that come along with the weekly/monthly/biannual (you dirtbird) laundry grind.
Here are just some of them…
1. No clean underwear
This is the first stage in clothes washing rage, because it means you really have to do some laundry.
If you have to start wearing swimwear as underwear, or going commando, you’ve gone too far. TOO FAR.
2. Is this dirty?
If you’re well organised, all of your dirty clothes and underwear will be nicely collected and segregated into some appropriate laundry vessels.
If you’re less organised, you have some unpleasant sniffing in your future.
3. Dropping things on the way to the machine
ARGH! SUCH RAGE!
4. The cycle never started
You’ve piled all of your clothes into the machine, added whatever liquids and powders you needed to add, pressed ‘start’ and minced away, smug and delighted….
… only to return two hours later to find the clothes dry as a bone and the light blinking uselessly, inexplicably.
5. The cycle never finished
This is worse than ‘the cycle never started’ because now you’re stuck with a load of wet clothes, a drum that’s half full of water, and the probability that your washing machine is broken.
Let’s just hope that this doesn’t turn out to be the cause:
6. The cycle is neverending
You are literally growing old waiting for it to stop.
7. You left a red sock in there
Good thing pink is your favourite colour, eh? EH?
8. You left a tissue in your pocket
You can pluck and pick at it all you like, but you’re never going to get it all off.
9. You left a tenner in your pocket
And it’s washed beyond repair. Time to take to the bed for the rest of the day. It’s the only thing for it.
10. You left the clothes in the machine for too long
And now they smell.
You know the smell we mean. Kind of like wet feet, and dog blankets, and old shower curtains.
11. You left the clothes in the machine for WAY too long
Hey you just forgot*, okay?
*Are the laziest person ever.
12. There’s a sock missing
You know you put a pair in there. You know you did.
13. You’re hanging the clothes on the washing line and a wet cold sheet slaps you in the face
That’s a motive for homicide right there.
14. You’re hanging the clothes on a clothes horse and it keeps falling over
The absolute rage.
15. You need to wear something that’s a little bit damp
What? Never heard of ‘ironing it dry’, or ‘hairdryering it dry’?
16. You forgot to put the clean laundry away and now it’s bed time
You know what to do…
Read: How many of these household jobs are you putting off right now?
Pictures: Mother goes on cleaning strike, doesn’t tell kids>
More: 6 things you should no longer need to hide from your parents>
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