ONE OF THE joys of autumn and winter is getting to wear cosy jumpers, glamorous winter coats and giant blankety scarves.
Indeed there are few things more satisfying than popping into the shops and picking up a chunky jumper that you just know you’ll live in for the winter. “Ah jumper,” you whisper. “I’m going to wear the f**k out of you while watching The Gilmore Girls this year.”
This year, however, shops have decided to pull a fast one and sell clothes with actual holes in them.
Introducing the dreaded ‘cold shoulder’ top/dress/jumper.
You’ve probably stumbled upon such clothing items in the shops. You pick up a jumper, thinking it looks warm and cosy, until you notice that there are two rather large holes in the shoulders.
“Sorry, is this item faulty?” you ask the shop assistant.
“No, why?” the shop assistant replies.
“Oh it’s just that there are two holes in this jumper. That kind of defeats the purpose of a winter jumper, don’t you think?” you say.
“Em, it’s 2016. That’s how clothes look now, Nan,” the shop assistant scoffs.
The term ‘cold shoulder’ yields 827 results on ASOS.
There are dresses, tops, blouses jumpers and hoodies. All shoulderless.
Now shoulderless clothes are fine if you are Kim Kardashian and walking from your limo the gym
But they’re not exactly compatible with Irish weather, are they?
You’ve gone too far this time, fashion.
WHAT’S SO WRONG ABOUT KEEPING YOUR SHOULDERS WARM?
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If wanting to keep your shoulders covered is dowdy and lame, then just call us Peig Sayers
#JusticeForShoulders
Signed,
Women Everywhere
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