WHEN HUMAN CIVILISATION is gone and the Earth lies covered in a grey dust, only Cosmo sex tips will remain.

Here are their greatest hits.

1. The Fork

@allyson_meghan @allyson_meghan

As if you’re testing a steak.

2. The Sneak Pepper Attack

@eevil_abby @eevil_abby

Men love NOTHING better than having pepper thrown in their faces on the verge of orgasm.

3. The ‘Professor Wankerton’

@emmicorn @emmicorn

PROFESSOR WANKERTON.

4. The Ouch Ow What The Hell Is That

@LorynBrantz @LorynBrantz

To up the stakes, use Lego bricks instead!

5. The Sex Dreidel

@ojagl4 @ojagl4

Or just say it a few times. “Sex Dreidel”.

6. The Wimbledon Final

@NerdEfiko @NerdEfiko

“Like you’re volleying a tennis ball” is a great approach for lots of things during sex.

7. The How Would You Answer The Door Though

@ladysnowbl00d @ladysnowbl00d

It is literally impossible to imagine this scenario working out well.

8. The WTF Even Is This

@sousugay @sousugay

“Pretending that you’re really digging around for that coinage you need” – super sexy.

9. The Classic Willy Donut

@Shay_Moneyy @Shay_Moneyy

*speechless*

10. The Grade A Dinner Bantz

@angrysestra @angrysestra

Then imagine him trying to keep a straight face.

11. The Sticky Hairs

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This was NOT the version of Rapunzel I read as a kid.

12. The Insanity Of Doing It In An Actual Canoe, With Diagram

@RoarItsBecca @RoarItsBecca

Actually unhinged.

13. The Obviously Never Lived In Ireland

@YourPalMyra @YourPalMyra

Irish version: shout “Storm Clodagh” at the moment of orgasm. (NB: only works if your partner’s name is Clodagh.)

14. The… the… words fail us

“Does it need more salt, do you think? What about a little chilli? Fuck, the pasta is boiling over.”

15. The Guest Tip From Shannon And Kevin

@Kelly_Lynn1123 @Kelly_Lynn1123

Shannon and Kevin forever.

16. The Damp Mistletoe

@RosesMcClover @RosesMcClover

worst. idea. ever.

17. The World’s Most Embarrassing Trip To A&E

Cosmo Cosmo

Imagine the noise your hoover makes. It’s sexy, isn’t it?

18. The ‘Fun, Casual and Easy-Going’

@annakategwen @annakategwen

This will show him that you are absolutely off your bin.

19. And The Vagina Of Coins

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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