WHEN IT COMES to role models, Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne are two of the worst imaginable.

With the sequel to Dumb and Dumber out this weekend in Ireland, what better time to look at all those pieces of life advice that we should never, ever take from the first film:

1. How not to do small talk

No, just off with all my luggage to the airport to collect someone. If you work as a limo driver as well, nailing the small talk is a key skill to master.

2. How not to be aware of threats

Beware the old lady on a motorised cart. She will probably steal your drink.

3. How not to handle a situation

There is nothing quite like that feeling when your pet’s head falls off for the first time.

4. How not to deal with the Gardaí

Puns are never a good idea in this situation. Intentional or not.

5. How not to make conversation

Telling the time can be quite important when setting a date.

6. How not to pick up on something

It can make conversations a lot easier.

7. How not to do road trips

“Mock. Yeah. Ing. Yeah. Bird. Yeah.”

Maybe the radio is a good idea on a long road trip. What definitely isn’t great is an impromptu sing-along.

8. How not to sound cultured

Be suave and interesting by knowing that The Beatles came before The Monkees – and were infinitely better than them. It’s important stuff.

9. How not to act civilised when wearing a tuxedo

It might be hard when you’re wearing an orange tux, but at least try to uphold a little class at formal events.