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Dublin: 5 °C Monday 23 December, 2024

Man selling 'enchanted' barbecue on Gumtree

Wonder how much it costs for shipping to Ireland?

WE’RE NOT SURE about a lot of things, but one thing is for certain. This barbecue for sale in Australia is enchanted.

Need proof? For starters, the owner claims that it has brought him incredible luck. Since he bought the griller he has “achieved flight without the use of propulsion, bedded Scarlett Johanssen on the back of a unicorn, and maintained a 100% strike rate when inserting a USB stick”.

No coincidences here.

But it’s not only himself that the grill brings good fortune to, but all those lucky enough to come into contact with it.

The fat from a pork sausage once spat up and hit my Dad in the head. He can now grow hair again, and it is glorious. Like a Pantene commercial.
The aromas emanating from a single snag converted my lifetime vegan sister-in-law to a ravenous carnivore. She was later ejected from the party for biting guests.

Who would have thought? Such a simple barbie.

bbq2

If you’re somehow not already completely sold, features include a cast iron plate “taken from the suit of arms of Richard the Lionheart” and a steel roasting hood “forged from the melted turret of the Soviet T-50 tank that took Berlin during the second World War”:

But why is he selling this wondrous machine? The owner says that “there is only so much power that one man can wield for so long” so he’ll consider “trades for human souls” if you’re a bit short on cash. Sorted.

h/t Buzzfeed

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