YOU’VE ALL HEARD of the neknomination phenomenon. If not, where have you been? Certainly not on Facebook, on any form of news website or social media platform.

So basically, it’s an online drinking game that originated in Australia and made it to Ireland. The premise is simple, participants must film themselves ‘necking’ alcohol, before nominating someone else to do the same.

Besides the fact that it has been condemned by various alcohol awareness groups, it’s also deeply annoying when you Facebook friends insist on taking part.

Well, desist. Here’s how to break it to them that they’re clowns.

This is basically you

You look as cool as this guy

Which, may we clarify, is not cool at all. #madyokes #bants #yolo

You know those people who don’t drink and judge you for drinking? You’re worse than them now.

Our Facebook feeds are now like a particularly uninteresting episode of Tallafornia, thanks to you

Nobody cares that you can down a pint behind a camera

You’re just wasting it. Enjoy it, SUP IT for God’s sake.

We know you’re looking for this…

But we’re really we’re all like this

Everyone knows what the video goes like

Thank your cretin of a friend for nominating you

Grab a quick smell of the concoction

Spend unbearably long minutes at the ‘necking’ stage

Then comes the gagging, don’t forget the gagging.

Then nominate someone else, and the horror chain continues

The names you read out at the end mean nothing to us

Unless they’re us, in which case you’re blocked for life.

It’s the new planking

Remember planking? Yeah, yeah. With great shame. We’d mention icing but even that is too sophisticated for comparison.

BlogSpot BlogSpot

Clubs are trying to get in on it now

It’s almost worse than when they invited memes to host nights. Remember this?

Well now there’s this…

Michael Corcoran Michael Corcoran

It’s just ANOTHER way for your parents to mortify you online

@ciaratheimpaler @ciaratheimpaler

Stop the madness, break the chain, drink with other people

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