YOU’VE ALL HEARD of the neknomination phenomenon. If not, where have you been? Certainly not on Facebook, on any form of news website or social media platform.
So basically, it’s an online drinking game that originated in Australia and made it to Ireland. The premise is simple, participants must film themselves ‘necking’ alcohol, before nominating someone else to do the same.
Besides the fact that it has been condemned by various alcohol awareness groups, it’s also deeply annoying when you Facebook friends insist on taking part.
Well, desist. Here’s how to break it to them that they’re clowns.
This is basically you
You look as cool as this guy
Which, may we clarify, is not cool at all. #madyokes #bants #yolo
You know those people who don’t drink and judge you for drinking? You’re worse than them now.
Our Facebook feeds are now like a particularly uninteresting episode of Tallafornia, thanks to you
Nobody cares that you can down a pint behind a camera
You’re just wasting it. Enjoy it, SUP IT for God’s sake.
We know you’re looking for this…
But we’re really we’re all like this
Everyone knows what the video goes like
Thank your cretin of a friend for nominating you
Grab a quick smell of the concoction
Spend unbearably long minutes at the ‘necking’ stage
Then comes the gagging, don’t forget the gagging.
Then nominate someone else, and the horror chain continues
The names you read out at the end mean nothing to us
Unless they’re us, in which case you’re blocked for life.
It’s the new planking
Remember planking? Yeah, yeah. With great shame. We’d mention icing but even that is too sophisticated for comparison.
Clubs are trying to get in on it now
It’s almost worse than when they invited memes to host nights. Remember this?
Well now there’s this…
It’s just ANOTHER way for your parents to mortify you online
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