YOU MAY THINK your Christmas stocking is unique, but we assure you it is not.
Here are eight things you’re guaranteed to find in every Irish person’s Christmas stocking.
1. Satsuma
Or some other sort of exotic orange-type fruit.
Of course it’s never eaten, but nor does it make its way back to the fruit bowl. Instead it’s left to languish/rot in the vicinity of the Christmas stocking.
2. Chocolate coins
i.e. Christmas morning breakfast.
3. Comically fluffy socks
Bonus points if they’re knee night or have slipper soles.
4. Terry’s Chocolate Orange
*shakes Christmas stocking, four Terry’s Chocolate Orange fall out*
5. Some novelty clothing
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Oh, Santa boxers? Sure, I can’t wear them until next year because Christmas is basically over, but thanks all the same.
6. Diminutive versions of everyday items
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Tiny chapsticks, tiny keyrings, tiny pens – you get the picture.
7. Something painfully practical
Sure, you technically do need sports socks and you will use that deodorant, but it just isn’t festive.
8. And something that will be a novelty for about two minutes before you promptly forget about it
Before you find them in mid-April and go, “Oh yeah, that!”
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