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DRY JANUARY IS an admirable thing. With the excesses of Christmas over, many like to hunker down for the first month of the year and part of this hibernation process is a shunning of alcohol and what is known as “dry January”.
For some other people though, life just gets in the way of such lofty ambitions – so here are the 11 ways you can comically fail at trying to take on the month drink-free.
1. Talking about it in mid-December
Not to dampen the Christmas spirit or anything but I'm really looking forward to dry January.
Declaring your intentions mid-way through December just seems premature. Not only will this put pressure on yourself in advance, but people won’t want to hear about it half way through a 12-pub-marathon. Avoid at all costs.
It’s January 2nd and the Christmas stock of drink seems somehow even larger than at any point over the festive season. Where did it all come from? It’s really one of the major distractions to a clean run at a booze-free start to the year.
3. Forgetting that you committed to dry January *checks date*
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You’re half way through that “quiet one” with a friend and you realise you have committed to dry January only two days ago. It’s a heartbreaker.
You can’t walk into a golf club without getting alcohol lavishly thrown at you. Next, the no-caviar-February will be compromised. What next? Tough times for some. *waggles monocle*
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5. Convincing yourself that drinking was fun over Christmas
Buzzfeed
Buzzfeed
Tasted good, too.
6. Panicking that dry January will impact on your comedy/social skills
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Those jokes you were wheeling out over Christmas were probably never funny though.
7. Mis-interpreting the concept
I'm doing 'dry' January. I'll stink by the end of the month but that first shower in February will feel like heaven.
It’s cold. It’s dark. All the Christmas fun has passed. For some, January is the exact month a couple of casual drinks are actually needed. Perhaps a ‘dry August’ would be more appropriate for these folks.
9. Starting to lose all concept of time
proper impressed with how i’m nailing dry january so far, must be at least 7 days in by now?
Coupled with not going on about it in December, smugly referencing it throughout the month of January might bring you some stares and eye-rolls from friends.
Wednesday 25 December, 2024
Wednesday 25 December, 2024
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11 ways you can outrageously fail at dry January
DRY JANUARY IS an admirable thing. With the excesses of Christmas over, many like to hunker down for the first month of the year and part of this hibernation process is a shunning of alcohol and what is known as “dry January”.
For some other people though, life just gets in the way of such lofty ambitions – so here are the 11 ways you can comically fail at trying to take on the month drink-free.
1. Talking about it in mid-December
Declaring your intentions mid-way through December just seems premature. Not only will this put pressure on yourself in advance, but people won’t want to hear about it half way through a 12-pub-marathon. Avoid at all costs.
2. Being seduced by the Christmas leftovers
It’s January 2nd and the Christmas stock of drink seems somehow even larger than at any point over the festive season. Where did it all come from? It’s really one of the major distractions to a clean run at a booze-free start to the year.
3. Forgetting that you committed to dry January *checks date*
Whoops!
We couldn't find this Tweet
You’re half way through that “quiet one” with a friend and you realise you have committed to dry January only two days ago. It’s a heartbreaker.
4. Allowing social functions to get to you
You can’t walk into a golf club without getting alcohol lavishly thrown at you. Next, the no-caviar-February will be compromised. What next? Tough times for some. *waggles monocle*
5. Convincing yourself that drinking was fun over Christmas
Tasted good, too.
6. Panicking that dry January will impact on your comedy/social skills
Whoops!
We couldn't find this Tweet
Those jokes you were wheeling out over Christmas were probably never funny though.
7. Mis-interpreting the concept
8. Getting it into your head that you want a drink just because it’s January and you deserve it
It’s cold. It’s dark. All the Christmas fun has passed. For some, January is the exact month a couple of casual drinks are actually needed. Perhaps a ‘dry August’ would be more appropriate for these folks.
9. Starting to lose all concept of time
10. Trying to ignore the temptation of the invite
Sometimes, it’s just hard to turn down being sociable.
11. Telling people all about it
Coupled with not going on about it in December, smugly referencing it throughout the month of January might bring you some stares and eye-rolls from friends.
Remember, pride comes before a fall.
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dry january Goin' Dry New Year