1. ’Twas far from complex Iarnród Éireann sandwiches you were raised
2. And it was certainly far from decorative ice outside the glass you were reared
3. €13 boxes of cereal? Away with ye
4. There were no chicken dipper canapes back in the day
5. Look at the little trolley half full of chips
6. And when you were a baba there wasn’t much sweet potato and pear organic grub
7. You never had much use for glitter in juice
8. Or a Paul Costelloe wooden board
9. When even your phone can tell you not to be typing that
10. You were reared 100 miles from Ciabatta Crumbed Irish Ham and its likes
11. Back then, Fruit Pastilles were just Fruit Pastilles
12. And even regular Magnums were a stretch
13. “Salt and vinegar? No, no. Pink Himalayan Rock Salt and vinegar, please”
14. “Would you be well buying this bag of crisps?” says your mam in the supermarket
15. And finally… ’twas DEFINITELY far from yacht varnish you were raised
Yacht. Varnish.
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