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The reviews for Fifty Shades of Grey are in and they're a lot better than you'd expect

Car crash averted.

fifty Universal Pictures UK / YouTube Universal Pictures UK / YouTube / YouTube

WITH JUST TWO days to go until Fifty Shades of Grey finally hits the cinema screens, the first reviews have been published… and they’re surprisingly alright.

Okay, it’s not going to win any Oscars, but most of the reviews don’t suggest an absolute car crash. In fact, the biggest complaint is that it isn’t sexy enough.

Additionally, rumours of a lack of chemistry between Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

Here’s a snapshot of what the critics are saying.

The Hollywood Reporter described it as “compellingly acted” and wrote that it was less “cringe-inducing” than the book.

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…a stronger proposition than the book because it strips away the oodles of cringe-inducing descriptions and internal monologue that tip the text heavily toward self-parody…

The magazine also praised Dornan’s “remarkable range”.

Variety also said the film compared favourably to the book, calling it a “significant improvement”.

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Glossy, well cast, and a consistent hoot until it becomes a serious drag, this neo-“9½ Weeks” is above all a slick exercise in carefully brand-managed titillation — edgier than most grown-up studio fare, but otherwise a fairly mild provocation in this porn-saturated day and age.

The Guardian awarded it a solid three stars and called parts of it “downright cute”.

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The newspaper also noted that the sex scenes aren’t that smutty.

…only the most buttoned-up prude will be scandalised.

Vanity Fair, meanwhile, agreed it was lot better than anyone could have ever expected.

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Fifty Shades of Grey is not the lame, hot-and-bothered fantasy romance many, including myself, thought it would be. It’s got wit and humor and a modest intelligence about human behavior that, say, the Twilight movies never had.

One of the few truly negative reviews came from The Playlist, which rejected it outright and called it “insipid” and “unsexy”.

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This decidedly tame, mainstream, multiplex-friendly look at kink, bondage, and sadomasochistic relationships takes absolutely no risks sexually or otherwise, and its would-be titillating inquiries into practices involving dominance, submission, and eroticism are facile at best.

But, Entertainment Weekly had maybe our favourite description.

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The movie Fifty Shades of Grey is considerably better written than the book. It is also sort of classy-looking, in a generic, TV-ad-for-bath-oil way. 

Nailed it.

Everyone is talking about this horribly awkward Fifty Shades of Grey interview > 

This amusing Fifty Shades of Grey meme is probably better than the film >

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