AH YES, THE first date.
Semi-awkward conversation has never felt this good. But inside, you’re all like:
1. “Have we… met before?”
Through the course of the evening, you will discover that you have about 12 mutual friends. You think you might have met each other on a night out years back – but to bring it up would be weird.
2. “Actually, we might have shifted a few years back”
Ireland is small, so this is always a possibility.
3. “Their Facebook profile is definitely different from real life”
Of course you checked them out online before the date – and that profiler is generous.
4. “My life story is actually really boring when said out loud”
Suddenly, where you went to secondary school is not the most captivating topic.
5. “I really shouldn’t have told that alcohol-themed anecdote”
You panicked and your go-to anecdote happened to be about debauchery. Great.
6. “They are definitely judging my clothes right now”
Why did I wear orange?
7. “In fact, everything I’m doing right now is being judged”
AM I POURING THE WINE CORRECTLY?
8. “I’m really hungry but completely pigging out just isn’t socially acceptable”
9. “A few more drinks will make everything better”
10. “Is a shift a possibility here?”
It’s nearing the end of the date and you’ve lost your senses. You haven’t a breeze if a shift will happen.
11. “I definitely could have done better”
The bus journey home is a long post-mortem of things that could have gone better.
Still, potential second date, right?
*checks phone*
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