Wednesday 5 February, 2025
WELL, ANOTHER WEEK of frenzied baking is over.
The contestants of the Great Irish Bake Off were subjected to custard-making, buttering tins and “notiony” roulades, but they made it.
Well, most of them made it.
There were tears and a double elimination, but who failed to make the grade?…
We’re off. Anna has mentioned that it’s windy. And the head is nearly being blown off her.
Ah look. She’s gone all R Kelly.
Last week we had the bread challenge.
Stephen was the star baker, Tom was told to leave the kitchen after his greatest fear was realised.
Oooh the technical challenge, and it’s one of Biddy’s own recipes.
Cider and apple warm pudding with elderflower custard.
A bit “notiony”, no?
Check out the faces of the people who’ve just realised they have to make their own custard…
Biddy says the most important thing is how the apples look on top of the pudding.
Oh and there’s the small matter of the the mixing, the baking, the dreaded custard.
There are no directions for making the custard.
WE REPEAT! THERE ARE NO INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAKING CUSTARD!
Biddy says, with an evil glint in her eye:
They know they can’t cover up their mistakes…
She’s like the great and powerful Oz!
Will says he thinks he’s going to end up with a “custard foam”.
Sure they’d pay through the nose for that in fancy restaurants.
Pssst Will, if all else fails….
There’s a lot of curdling going on. Curdling is the enemy of the custard.
Will “loves custard”. He’d eat “a bowl of custard every day”.
Okay, it’s time for Ireland’s answer to Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood to get their gobs around the puddings.
It’s the custard we’re worried about though. They run the risk of being “eggy” and “scrambled”.
We’ve got the balks now.
We really enjoy the poker faces during the judging.
The judges don’t know which cake belongs to whom, so the bakers are all sitting there like they don’t give a damn. Sure they’re practically lying down.
Okay, the next challenge is the ‘showstopper dessert challenge’.
The judges want a trio of desserts:
We have a feeling a swiss roll, a bog standard apple crumble and a jam sandwich isn’t going to cut it.
There are a LOT of notions going on with these desserts.
Lots of infusions, fussy bits, fiddly extras.
Like we said, one of these won’t cut it:
We’ve learned a little bit more about Steve this evening.
Not only did he throw a paper plane at his wife to win her heart, but he’s a local celeb painter:
Right. We’ve made the mistake of watching this with no baked goods to chomp on.
Emergency cake delivery to DailyEdge.ie towers please.
Maryanne didn’t grease her tin.
MARYANNE DIDN’T GREASE HER TIN !
Rolling the roulade seems to be the “custard” of the second challenge.
Squeaky bums all round.
Maryanne has cracked. There are tears.
She’s asking Anna to leave her alone so she can hold it together.
We’re with you Maryanne. Sure WE’RE barely holding it together.
Hold us.
The finishing touches are being put on the fancy desserts.
The judges are looking for something that little bit special to make them stand out.
Some have tied bows, some have worked wonders with icing sugar, and some have just given up*.
(Come on Maryanne, you can do it)
Okay, now this is an emergency.
How can we work under these conditions*?
* i.e. without cake, while looking at cakes like this:
Star baker time!
Who will it be?
It’s Will! It’s custard man Will!
Double elimination time.
Oh no!
Bridget is the first to go. She forgot to butter her tin you see.
If you take one lesson from this, it’s:
BUTTER YOUR TIN
And the second one to go is…. STEVE.
At least he’s got his plane throwing and painting skills to fall back on.
Farewell dear Steve, and Godspeed.
And that’s it for another week. So many emotions. So much custard.
Next week is chocolate week. Like you needed a reason to watch.
We’re off to buy up an entire Spar worth of mini rolls. Adieu.
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