LIVING IN DUBLIN is one constant battle.
1. Public transport, in general
Sick.
2. Pigeons and seagulls take no prisoners
Only the toughest flying beasts make it to Dublin.
3. Leap card funds are a constant humiliating gamble
You only topped by by €20 yesterday and now the reader is beeping like a mad yoke.
4. Traffic on match days
Disaster. Usually accompanied by a bus strike, a marathon, and protest road closures.
5. Rentals look like this
And cost €2,000 an hour.
6. Pints cost this much
And you never see the end of this Temple Bar receipt. Just LOOK at the difference though.
7. Parking in the city is practically non-existent
Unless you’re willing to hand over 20% of your life savings upfront. Prepare to get acquainted with an umbrella, you’ll be walking a lot.
8. The Northside-Southside divide
You didn’t chose your alliance, you were born into it. Now you must defend it until your dying day, even if you treacherously move across the river in later life.
9. Dealing with this the morning after a big festival
Not pictured: Puke.
10. A seat in a city centre pub is a mythical thing, every night of the week
Get used to standing.
11. Coppers is almost inevitable after a night out
Some genius will always suggest Coppers as the night is coming to an end, and you will go. Your regret will take the form of many, many Jackson Court Hotel receipts for shots at 3.40am.
12. Dublin bikes
Giving anyone and every one access to a bike.
13. Tourists, everywhere
They’ll want you to give them directions, as they walk slowly in front of you. It’s the better alternative to them stopping dead in their tracks to fold out a big map though.
14. The stank
A delicious aroma of hops and Liffey of a Sunday morning.
14. Chuggers get to you easier
There’s less room to avoid them, and there’s more of them.
15. The Viking Tour passing when you’ve a hangover
RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrawwwwWWWrrrrHHH.
No, please, shush.
16. Keeping up with building names
This is Lansdowne Road.
This is the Point. Not the 3 Arena, not even the O2.
17. Feeling lost down the country
There’s not a McDonald’s for how long? Supermacs? Sorry, no.
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