THE GREAT BRITISH Bake Off finally returns to our TV screens this evening, and not a minute too soon!
What better way to take our minds off yet another day of miserable summer weather than with a loving cuddle from the telly and the warm embrace of Mary Berry’s terrifying yet comforting stare?
But wait, spare a thought for the heartle… er totally rational people among us who – brace yourselves now- don’t enjoy the Bake Off.
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Let’s investigate some of the possible reasons…
It beams hateful people into your sitting room
Every year as the contestants are presented to us people eagerly choose which ones they’re going to hate based purely on things like “he might be a hipster”, “she’s too pretty, the swine”, “he has teeth” etc.
So very hateful.
It’s perpetuating the hate campaign against seagulls
#NotAllSeagulls
Mary Berry ‘s mangling of the English language
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How are we supposed to live like this? It’s LAY-ERS!
*Throws telly out window*
The Baked Alaska fiasco
AKA ‘Bingate’.
Here’s a concise and honest round up of the events:
Ridiculous, we think you’ll agree.
The intense cravings
You’ve made yourself a nice dinner of chicken breast, two spuds and some slithery broccoli, all washed down with some delicious water passed through your two year old Britta filter.
The last thing you need is a TV show that makes you feel like this:
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The endless horsing into cakes
Understandable.
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