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Dublin: 4 °C Saturday 23 November, 2024

Hello Kitty is NOT actually a cat and everything you know is a lie

THIS IS NOT OK.

PREPARE TO HAVE your world rocked. Everything you have ever known has been one big lie.

HELLO KITTY IS NOT ACTUALLY A CAT.

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WE KNOW.

The horrifying discovery was made when anthropologist Christine R. Yano from the University of Hawaii began creating a Hello Kitty exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles.

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She sent Hello Kitty creator Sanrio some of the exhibit texts to proofread, and was taken aback when they corrected her reference to Kitty as a cat.

Speaking to the LA Times, Yano said she was corrected “very firmly”.

That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.

So, Hello Kitty is a little girl and there is literally nothing we can do to change it. The LA Times says she’s ”is a Scorpio. She loves apple pie. And she is the daughter of George and Mary White.”

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Why the whiskers? Why the cat ears?

Needless to say, people are having a hard time dealing with the news.

Wake us up from this nightmare.

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