when u get too drunk at the club and everyone is like ummm lets get u home pic.twitter.com/bQLMVMLqTv

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) June 14, 2015

Sometimes I like a big wine glass cos you can fit more in, sometimes small cos you can have more of them. This is the stuff I think about.

— Sharon Horgan (@SharonHorgan) January 28, 2013

Everyone, 2011: NOT drinking that beer. Not heard of it & the label's weird.
Everyone, 2014: skull shaped bottle of Chubby Coccyx Import pls

— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) December 22, 2014

"Wine" is French for "fancy sleepy headache juice."

— Trevor S (@trevso_electric) February 23, 2014

Apparently drunk me thought sober me would find this hilarious pic.twitter.com/PHxH6JIJoD

— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) October 1, 2014

I feel a weird sense of pride when I'm so drunk that autocorrect just gives up.

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) February 12, 2013

*examines wine list*
A pint of cabaret sofanon, my good man. A fresh pint, mind.

— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) June 15, 2015

22 year old me after a night of drinking: "I hope I didn't do anything stupid."

29 year old me: "I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."

— ian karmel (@IanKarmel) April 26, 2014

Drinking on an empty brain

— Carol GPT (@CarolGertrude) December 19, 2013

My favorite drink is "Wow! There's alcohol in that? I'll be able to drink several of those".

— sara (@SomthinBoutSara) July 20, 2014