WE ALL KNOW and love Home Alone, but what if it was taken out of the States and on to our Emerald Isle…? It would be a much different movie.
1. First of all, Kevin would NEVER be left home alone
An Irish mammy would make sure she had every single scrap of kid with her. She’s magic.
2. Instead of a trip to Paris, the family would be going down the country to visit cousins
They wouldn’t have slept it in either, sure ten alarms would be set to get there before they lost the light.
3. Fuller would be gulping down all the Club Orange instead of Pepsi
But still pissing the bed your mam would make up for you all on the floor.
4. Kevin’s parents would definitely be able to get a seat on the flight back, but it would cost about €500 on Ryanair
AND you have a load of luggage? Oh, excellent.
5. Their house would be a semi-detached and the neighbours would catch the Wet Bandits before they got to do anything
Hello? Hello? Do you know the McCallisters then?
6. Kevin’s sleigh out the door would be a mattress
We’ve all done it.
7. The Dominos pizza guy wouldn’t have knocked over a statue because he’d go to the wrong house
Hello, Hello? I’m outside?
8. The fake party would be a Conor McGregor cut out and his nan’s stitching dummy
9. The furnace would be a space heater stored in the attic
10. The booby traps would mostly consist of manure
Hey, we’ve no ice or tar handy.
11. Kevin would be watching Father Ted
Keep the change yafeckinggobshite.
12. The Eirphonewatch alarm would go off at the first approach of the Wet Bandits
Why is this kid alone in the house?
13. His shopping bags wouldn’t fall through
Ever hear of a bag for life?
14. That church would be packed
It’s CHRISTMAS. You’d be lucky to get standing space down the back as the regulars tut at those only going once a year.
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