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Dublin: 5 °C Sunday 22 December, 2024

How Truly Irish Are You?

Take this quiz to find out.

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1. Which cup of tea?

2. You're heading to the beach with a picnic when it starts to rain. Do you...
Turn the car around. I think I saw Trivial Pursuit 1982 in the caravan.
Sit in the car park eating damp sandwiches with the windows steamed up.

Trudge around in the rain because you're here now and it would be a shame to waste it.
Go to the pub.
3. How much of the National Anthem can you sing?
CHRISTOPHE ENA/AP
All of it.
Sinne Fianna Fáil, na naa na naa naaa... naaa?

The first four lines, and then the last line obviously.
Nah, the last time I heard it was drunk in a country nightclub.
4. You are served sub-standard food in a restaurant. Do you...
Finish the entire plateful in case you come across as 'rude'.
When the waiter asks how the food is, reply "Delicious!" while feeling somehow guilty.

Refuse to complain, while secretly enjoying the prospect of moaning about it later.
Politely point it out to the waiter.
5. Did you hear who's after dying?
6. You go to the pub 'just for one' on a Wednesday. Do you...
Just have one. Big day at work tomorrow.
Sure you never just have one, do you? Let's have the round at least.

Not sure what happened, but I DO remember shifting a minor TV3 newsreader in Coppers while the DJ played Keep On Movin' by Five.
7. Which of these would most strike the fear of God into you?

Channel 4
Photocall Ireland
8. On the way to work, you realise you've left the immersion on. Do you...
Turn around and go back. Some things are more important.
Feel a niggling sense of discomfort all day that you can't quite pinpoint.

If we made it through 800 years of oppression, we can make it through this.
Er, ours is on a timer.
9. An bhfuil cead agam dul go dtí an leithreas?
Tá cead agat.
Sorry, what?
10. You see someone you know slightly coming towards you on the street. Do you...
Photocall Ireland
Wave and say hi, but pass by.
Stop and chat.

Try and tough it out by pretending you haven’t seen them.
A combination of all three, re-evaluated moment by moment based on what you think they’re doing, that will probably end up in both of you smiling awkwardly, walking all the way past one another, turning round to see if the other one is turning round, then having a conversation that nobody wants and that ends in insincere pledge to ‘go for a pint sometime’.
11. Who is the odd one out, really?
RTE
Photocall Ireland

Photocall Ireland
12. How would you describe the weather in this picture?
Grand soft day.
Ah, it's only hazy.

Great for the crops.
Rain.
13. You're at a wedding. At 11pm, the party shows signs of winding down. What do you do?
Call it a night. After all, it's been going since 1pm and I think I lost my tie during AC/DC.
Ask the DJ to play Maniac 2000, drawing every uncle in the room like helpless puppets to the dancefloor.

Remain calm - the cocktail sausages and triangle sandwiches at midnight will give everyone a second wind.
Commence military-style planning to get everyone into the residents' bar. SMALL GROUPS, PEOPLE.
14. And finally... wait a minute, that's a lovely outfit you're wearing!
Thanks.
Thanks, Penneys.
Answer all the questions to see your result!
You scored out of !
Congratulations! You're as Irish as Miley from Glenroe supping a creamy pint of stout.
You are the true epitome of Irishness. Hold your passport with pride.
Share your result:
You scored out of !
Woohoo! You're as Irish as Socky from The Den (and his blue bucket).
OK, there are people who are more quintessentially Irish than you. You're a fringe character of Irishness - but you're flying the flag proudly. DUSTIN DO THE FLAP FLAPS!
Share your result:
Photocall Ireland
You scored out of !
Ahhh... You're as Irish as Don Conroy drawing an owl.
You're a little too genteel to be the true epitome of Irishness. But you're a living legend, so we'll forgive you.
Share your result:
MARTIN MCCULLOUGH/PA
You scored out of !
Hmm. You're about as Irish as Jack Charlton.
OK, you're not really Irish at all. But we love you anyway, and by God we will claim you.
Share your result:

More: 29 things you’ll only find funny if you’re Irish>

More: 23 stunning photos of an ideal Ireland>

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