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Dublin: 3 °C Monday 23 December, 2024

9 worrying signs that Ireland has developed 'notions'

Remember what happened last time?

REMEMBER THE EARLY noughties? Remember how crazy Ireland was in the boom years?

The problem was, we got NOTIONS. Notions were our downfall. (OK, among other things.)

Recently there have been some troubling signs that NOTIONS may have returned to these shores. Behold:

1. This is how much a pint costs now

Imgur Imgur

Well, in Oliver St John Gogarty’s of Temple Bar anyway. And that’s OK, apparently: a staff member told the Irish Independent that people “rarely complain” about the prices.

2. The Nespresso queue in Brown Thomas is ‘a thing’

3. Some of us have even abandoned teabags in favour of ‘tea capsules’

Wholesome Ireland Wholesome Ireland

OK, not many of us. But still. Tea capsules? Really?

Currently €7.29 on Viking’s Irish site for a pack of 16. That’s 45c a cup.

4. Property boom!

Yep, this is happening. Anyone remember how it ended last time?

5. This is how supermarkets are attracting customers

Tom Byrne Tom Byrne

Putting the price up makes it more exclusive, see?

6. Pints out, wine in

Shutterstock Shutterstock

Wine wine wine. The Government has chucked an extra €1.50 onto the price of every bottle of wine in Ireland over the last two Budgets, and it’s barely dented our appetite for the stuff.

Basically, we are all now this guy in the photo. We’re probably the reason for the global wine shortage.

7. We’re eating more Superquinn sausages than ever

Christina Finn Christina Finn

The factory where Superquinn sausages are made has had to employ 12 new people because demand has gone up so much. Whatever happened to Denny’s, guys?

8. The celebrities are flocking in*

Alan Andrews / Coffee Culture Alan Andrews / Coffee Culture / Coffee Culture

What’s this? Oh, just Bill Clinton hanging with Bono and Rory McIlroy in Dublin last month.

And just look at the jacket on Rory. Did he borrow that from the 2003 Gerald Kean Collection or what?

They’re even getting drunk in Temple Bar:

Kermit-on-tour Kermit-on-tour

*May be a slight exaggeration. But Johnny Depp was in Westmeath!

9. And finally, we’re literally exporting our dirt

Irishturfdistributors Irishturfdistributors

To Americans, who’ll pay €49 for a bale of briquettes. God love them.

Have you seen any signs of NOTIONS appearing in Ireland? Let us know – this menace must be stopped. 

Watch parents tell their kids: ‘We ate all your Halloween sweets’>

Chocolate-covered crisps are now a reality in the US>

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