IRISH PEOPLE ARE all guilty of indulging in the odd daydream.
“What would you do if you won the Lotto?” is one of life’s great philosophical questions.
But what do Irish people fantasise about?
1. Installing a Stira in your house
Once upon a time, a fold-up stairs to the attic was the epitome of Irish glam.
You’ll be delira with your stira, indeed.
2. Winning Blackboard Jungle swag for your school
There wasn’t a secondary school student in the country that didn’t want to triumph and win that mini bus.
3. Getting to spin the wheel on Winning Streak
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Imagine the little ball landing on €250,000.
4. Having Dermot Bannon redecorate your house
It’s what you think about every week when Room to Improve is on, as you look around the house and take mental note of everything that needs doing up.
5. Being able to afford a hotel room for Electric Picnic
Sure, you pretend that camping is what “makes” it, but you know damned well that what you really want is a bed to sleep in.
6. Getting the driveway gravelled
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Look at how smooth it is.
7. Nabbing a ticket for the Toy Show
And being able to rub it in everyone’s face down in the pub.
Bliss.
8. Being at a party where there’s a Ferrero Rocher pyramid
And being too afraid to take one and ruin its beauty.
9. Getting to say your piece on Claire Byrne Live and impressing the whole country with your eloquence and clarity of thought
The whole country nodding in agreement with you and muttering, “She’s dead right.”
Your time to shine.
10. Being so wealthy/successful that others begrudge your success
Thus completing the circle of begrudgery.
Don’t hate me ’cause you ain’t me, etc.
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