RECENTLY, WE HEARD all the secrets Irish girls will never tell us.

Now, it’s the lads’ turn:

1. We secretly enjoy carrying things from one place to another and being useful

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Oh, we’ll groan before it needs to be done, no doubt about it.

But deep down the game of trying to lift all the shopping from the car to the house is one go will be tackled with relish.

2. That we have no clue how to fix simple things

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iPad broken? “Here give it to me, I’ll just try something.”

*makes everything worse*

We’ll never admit to just not having a clue.

3. The contents of the lads’ Whatsapp group

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“What are you chatting about there?”

“Ah, nothing, just s***e”

4. That men coming in to do jobs in the house make us very uncomfortable

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We look all relaxed when offering them tea and having the craic, but inside we are dying from awkwardness and a sense of failure.

5. That we all think that gym/yoga gear should be acceptable in the bars of Ireland

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We’re all just waiting for the day when society says it’s OK.

6. Those really old boxers we own hold sentimental value

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They’ve been around longer than some of our best friends. Our excuse for not throwing them out is “can’t be bothered” but the love goes deeper than that.

7. The 53 receipts in our oversized wallet are actually meaningless

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We’ll tell people they have a purpose but they really don’t. Throwing them away? Not a chance.

8. Sometimes we’re not actually supporting any team that is playing

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We’ll still watch and give the appearance that we are, though.

9. We spend longer in the jacks than is needed just so we can relax

It’s weird.

10. We’ll never have a use for those ancient, battered runners

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But “they’ll come in handy one day” as they sit, festering in the corner.

No need to throw out those classics, we say publicly.

11. Most of the time what we are thinking about is something completely random

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It’s not often philosophical or important. It’s more likely to be absolute nonsense, not worthy of repeating to anyone.

12. We secretly like it when you wear makeup

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Amongst the many esteemed lads sampled for this panel, this one got a universal thumbs up.

It’s not our place to say though, so we just think it.

13. We never mastered how to take off a bra

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Our secret shame.

We’ll fumble around back there like we are experts but throw a different make at us and we’re 100% stumped. Once again.

14. Tell us we are good in bed, and you have our loyalty for life

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We have no problems with blatant lies when they boost our egos.

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