IT’S ALMOST TIME. The childers are basically dossing around in class, preparing for Christmas plays and making glittery Christmas cards you’ll be scrubbing out of the carpet for weeks to come.
Here are a few things that every school in Ireland will be indulging in during their final week of 2013.
1. The nativity
The nativity play was always a highlight of the school calendar. The question on everyone’s lips: what lucky pair would get to be Mary and Joseph? Then there were the disappointed ones who played trees or ‘choir angel’. Poor mam’s heart would be broken making tinsel halos and headgear out of her good tea-towels.
2. Christmas carolling service
Siiiiiiiilent night, hoooooooooly night.
Sure, you were just opening and closing your mouth, but those who were dedicated enough to be in the choir carried you along grand.
Anyway, sometimes it was best to keep silent.
3. Sale of work
The annual time to get rid of your crap, only to acquire someone else’s crap. The pre-Christmas school sale of work (always run by the authoritative 6th classes) was basically mountains of dodgy toys laid out on tables in the school hall. You’d walk around grabbing handfuls that would make ‘perfect Christmas presents’. Well, they didn’t.
4. Arts and crafts
Green and red glitter manufacturers spend Christmas rolling around in their cash and tears of the parents who received yet another abomination of a angel to hang on their notiony bronze and silver themed tree.
5. Giving presents to your teacher and lollipop lady
Your parents would make sure that you didn’t forget to ‘bring in the presents’, which usually was a ‘good’ pen or mug for teacher and a box of roses for the lollipop lady. It’s not Christmas until the paths are lined with wrapped circular tins.
6. The school advent calendar or tree
Always paper-based, religious, and not a lot of fun to open. See also: Advent candles in the main hall.
7. Filling shoe-boxes and hampers
The shoebox appeal always signified Christmas. Pick a boy or a girl, fill up a box, briefly end up envying the kid that was going to get it. Then there was the trauma of carrying in tins and cans for the Saint Vincent De Paul food drive. Your class must win.
8. Christmas tests
It’s like the teachers wanted to ruin Christmas for us. Christmas holidays came with the relief of completing that rock hard Geography test on the mountains in Ireland or the dreaded long division. Just let us be in peace now. Writing ‘Happy Christmas’ at the end never worked, you lick.
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