SO YOU’RE GOING on your holliers. Oh nice. Where? Marbella? Costa Del Sol?

Try Arklow or Mosney, where you’ll do these things. Lucky you!

1. Sleep in a caravan or holiday home

Just what you need as a pre-teen. Being hauled up in an enclosed space with your entire immediate, bored family.

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2. Say ‘Are we there yet’ multiple times during the car journey?

All you had was car games or travel sized chess to keep you occupied until the next joyous stop at the garage.

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3.  Boot picnics

A flask of tea with the cup lid was a must.

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4. Rent bikes or tennis rackets

It’s not a real Irish holiday if you’re not doing an activity you could have done at home for free.

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5. Swimming in the freezing cold sea

Tea on the beach to warm up. Classic.

Mark Stedman Mark Stedman

6. Deck chairs are used for everything

Must be hauled around at all times.

Mark Stedman Mark Stedman

Mark Stedman Mark Stedman

7. Fishing in the rock-pools

Oh great, another tadpole.

Eamonn Farrell Eamonn Farrell

8. Eat sandy sambos and 99s from the shabby beach shop

Mmm, crunchy.

Eamonn Farrell Photocall Ireland! Eamonn Farrell Photocall Ireland!

9. Play on the amusements, crazy golf and pedalos like it was Las Vegas and Disney combined

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10. Get drenched on the playground slides because you couldn’t wait for them to dry

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11. Playing board games that were left in the caravan

Always crap, always soundtracked by the rain tapping the roof.

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12. Going for drives while your parents say ‘sure isn’t it lovely all the same’ at fields

It is, sure.

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