ONLY IN IRELAND, will you understand how much is required when someone gives you these measurements.

1.

Bert Kaufmann Bert Kaufmann

If you’ve got a hayp of things wrong with you, it’s not looking good. Hayp is used as a miscellaneous larger-than-average size, and can describe anything. Food, trouble, cows, pints, or people.

2.

mozzercork mozzercork

Loads. Like, shiteloads is a lot. It’s shiteloads. You better watch out if someone uses it to describe how much you’ve pissed them off.

3.

ktylerconk ktylerconk

Technically, it’s 200ml of a spirit, but to us, it’s a naggin.

4.

Bert Kaufmann Bert Kaufmann

Not full cut, but half cut. Not quite completely sloshed, but on their way.

5.

ktylerconk ktylerconk

So much. A rake of something means you’ve simply got too much of it.

6.

mozzercork mozzercork

[with regards to scoops]

Definitely, at least six scoops will be had. A few does not equal ‘few’, which would imply a little amount.

7.

Bert Kaufmann Bert Kaufmann

Usually used in the North, a lock is an unknown quantity on the small side. We’ve only a wee lock of beer on us.

8.

ktylerconk ktylerconk

When describing just how full a venue or party is, turn to jointed if it’s packed. The place was jointed with beours lads.

9.

mozzercork mozzercork

This describes distance down the road, e.g. it’s only a spit from Pauly’s pub. It’s not though, it’s at least 200 miles.

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