THEY SAY IRISH people have the gift of the gab. What they don’t know is that we’re even better at ending conversations, whether we want to or not.
Here is a definitive ranking of the eight phrases that kill Irish conversations, in order of devastation.
8.
What it means: I would have hung up on you instantly only I don’t want to be rude.
7.
What it means: I won’t, actually. Stop.
7.
What it means: I have no idea how to answer you, but I’ll say this to be polite.
5.
What it means: Your joke was kind of funny, but I wish to move on now.
4.
What it means: I don’t want to talk to you anymore, but I’m going to make it LOOK like you’re the one who has to go.
3.
What it means: I empathise with you, but I don’t care enough to explore the topic further.
2.
What it means: Yep, thanks. Bye.
1.
What it means: The topic has reached its natural end, and I’m not even bothered to finish it off by forming a sentence that actually relates to it.
Congratulations. The conversation is dead as a dodo.
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