IT’S JANUARY. CHRISTMAS is over. Everything we ever looked forward to is gone.

All that’s left is a sense of boredom – ennui, if you will – of a very special kind. Really, there’s only one word for it:

Here are the key symptoms of Jannui. How many do you have?

1. Mysterious, all-over tiredness that goes into your very bones

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And doesn’t relate to how much sleep you’ve had. It’s somehow gone beyond that, to a place that no amount of sleep can reach.

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2. Brain somehow replaced by sludge over the holidays

Outside:

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Inside:

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3. Sense of isolation from your fellow man

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4. Vague, unpindownable cold symptoms

That have been hanging around for days, but never quite developed into anything proper you can fight with medicine.

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A slightly sore throat here, a cough there. Just a general all-round feeling of unwellness.

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5. Night sweats

For unexplained reasons. How does it get so much hotter between bedtime and the middle of the night?

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Yep.

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6. Bursts of mild panic

Outside, you’re keeping it together.

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But somehow, you feel constantly… on edge. As if disaster could strike at any time.

7. Overall lack of enthusiasm

Not just for work. For anything. “Will we go for a drink this weekend?” “Muh, maybe.”

8. Urge to hibernate until April

And cocoon yourself in a safe place, away from the world and its cares.

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Possibly in a blanket fort.

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We’re on eight out of eight here. See you in April, guys.

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