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22 honest thoughts I had while watching Jurassic World
*UPDATED 1.45pm 14 June to include important Margaritaville information*
THIS WEEK DailyEdge.ie summoned the spirit of Phil Tippett and headed to the Jurassic World premiere at the Savoy Cinema on Dublin’s O’Connnell St.
The Savoy’s enormous ‘Big Fella’ theatre was packed to the gills for the highly anticipated sequel, which takes place 20 years after Dennis Nedry’s treachery brought the original Jurassic Park to its knees.
Here are all the thoughts (and pukes, nerves etc) that crossed our minds…
(Some very minor spoilers ahead, but nothing that will actually spoil it for you. Promise)
“Oooh I know him/her from somewhere. Xposé? Tallafornia? Jo Maxi? The Weather/Dublin busking sensation Keywest?”
Irish film premieres are always awash with minor celebs. Ones you know you know from somewhere, but you just can’t place them. Last night DailyEdge.ie was almost certainly sitting beside a group of LADS from a second string sports team. Possibly rugby.
We saw Republic of Telly’s Kevin McGahern at the Mad Max premiere, but were treated to no such sighting at Jurassic World. Were you there Kev? Get in touch. Spit on us.
“Oh, they’re playing the Jurassic Park music, and people are singing along. Fetch our hankies”
Last night in the Savoy, John Williams’ stirring Jurassic Park theme was pumped into the theatre, and people were unable to stop themselves from singing along. #NotAble
“Oh look, there’s Mike Sheridan from Entertainment.ie”
Mike was asked by Universal Pictures to introduce the film to the crowd at the Savoy. We were listening really carefully.
Sorry Mike.
“Hang on, this is only rated 12A? Is it a CARTOON?”
There’s nothing more disappointing than settling yourself in for two solid hours of bad frights and yelps, only to be greeted with the news that you’re essentially there to watch The Land Before Time 17. Give us 15A at least.
“Oh, wait, the original was probably rated 12A too, wasn’t it? And we didn’t sleep for weeks. As you were”
On second thoughts, let’s not be too hasty. Even though there are a lot of children here.
“Oh look, it’s your one that’s in everything”
Actress Judy Greer, aka Your One That’s In Everything, is one of the first Jurassic World characters to appear on screen.
You know her from loads of things (things where she plays the best friend/sister of the likes of Anne Hathaway and Katherine Heigl), but you won’t be able to put your finger on any of them.
Seriously, she’s even written a book about it.
“Ah yes, your one that’s in everything is playing the main wan’s sister”
Judy Greer plays Bryce Dallas Howard’s sister. All is right with the world.
Greer also played second fiddle to Howard in The Village. Always the bridesmaid etc.
“Bryce Dallas Howard? Surely you mean Jessica Chastain?”
No, we mean Bryce Dallas Howard.
But that’s ok, you’re not the only one to make that mistake.
“That child has celebratory hair”
Jurassic World features many throwbacks to the 1993 original, including two child characters who have been shipped off to Isla Nublar for a week to give their divorcing parents some time alone.
One of these children, played by Ty Simpkins, has a frankly astounding head of hair.
“And wait, is that?…. I’m fairly sure that’s Brooklyn Beckham”
The other older child (played by Nick Robinson) bears an uncanny resemblance to Brooklyn ‘My Parents Had A Ride In New York And Are Never Going To Let Me Forget It’ Beckham.
“Indiana Jones much, Chris Pratt?”
There are rumours that Jurassic World and Guardians of the Galaxy Star Chris Pratt is lined up to be the next Indiana Jones.
He is literally dressed as Indiana Jones for much of Jurassic World, including a fetching waistcoat. A VERY fetching waistcoat.
“Still fancied him more in Parks and Recreation though”
The original and best Chris Pratt.
“There’s definitely going to be some gob-lobbing in this”
Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard have some serious glad eye action going on. Even though they’re supposed to HATE each other after after an early disastrous date. We know true love/serious lady and man boners when we see it though.
“Is she going to wear the high heels for the whole film?”
Yes, Bryce Dallas Howard does indeed manage to keep her heels on throughout countless perilous situations. She’d going to be plagued with bunions in later life. Plagued.
“How very Aliens of you”
Fans of James Cameron’s Alien sequel will be able to pick out many homages to the 1986 film, from the iconic egg opening, to the beeping dinosaur trackers and the flatlining heart monitors, to this Ripley rip off:
“IT’S NICK FROM NEW GIRL. WE LOVE HIM!”
Yes, Jake Johnson, aka Nick Miller from the Zooey Deschanel sitcom New Girl, plays a loveable ops guy in Jurassic World. He and director Colin Trevorrow are obviously pals, having working together before on the indie film Safety Not Guaranteed.
“Oh hi Dr Wu”
Henry Wu, played by BD Wong, is the only original Jurassic Park cast member to star in Jurassic World. He wears a fetching polo neck and appears to be ageing inpeccably.
“HOW ARE THOSE MATCHES STILL DRY?”
You’ll know what we mean by this when you see it. One of the many plot holes we’ll have to forgive Jurassic World for.
“Oho, I hope all these children who are in the cinema are not afraid during all of these tense and terrifying dinosaur chase scenes. I, a grown adult, am not one bit afraid. No siree”
Jurassic World is legitimately terrifying in parts, just like the original. There’s an homage to that infamous glass roof scene:
Plenty of close encounters:
And dinosaurs like this:
And this:
“LOL was that restaurant called Margaritaville?”
Yes, there is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it restaurant in Jurassic World called Magaritaville.
You know, from the song.
UDPATE: There is also a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene where a man scampers away from an impending dinosaur, struggling to keep his margaritas intact.
It now emerges that this man is none other than Margaritaville crooner and restaurant chain owner Jimmy Buffet.
“They’re setting this up for another sequel, aren’t they”
Questions like “where did the pterodactyls go?”, “are they going to round up those raptors?” and “will Bryce Dallas Howard ever take those heels off” mean that we’re fairly certain there’ll be at least one more Jurassic Park film.
Get the kid with the hair to be in it. He was great.
“Aaaaand breathe”
Jurassic World is really enjoyable, really tense, really really full of dinosaurs, really loud, really Chris Pratt, really pays tribute to the original, really isn’t as good as the original but sure what could be, really scary, really good fun and really Jurassic.
People clapped at the end, but we’ll allow it. Just about.
A solid 8/10. Life, finds a way.
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