THE COMEDY CENTRAL Roast is a legendary set piece TV show where you can see comedians and celebrities stand up to tell the most inappropriate jokes about someone famous.
This week, it was Justin Bieber – and things got messy.
As is the nature of the Comedy Central Roast, some of these jokes may cause offence:
1. “Selena Gomez couldn’t be here. Just because she didn’t want to be here.”
Starting out with a Selena Gomez joke was par for the course for host Kevin Hart. There was more to come, though.
2. “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a moustache before you?” – Jeff Ross
Comedian Ross kept going with the theme of Bieber’s ex-girlfriend:
3. “Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”
4. “You have it all, except love, friends, good parents and a Grammy.” - Chris D’Elia
5. “Orlando Bloom took a swing at you; you have a perfume called Girlfriend; you threw eggs at a house — not gangsta.” - Kevin Hart
There was a surprise appearance from Will Ferrell in character as Ron Burgundy:
6. “This kid has spunk , moxie and probably a few other STDs. I’ve always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather? Would I love to see Biebs spending time with Oscar Pistorious? Of course I would. That day will come.”
7. “You act so much like a pussy, Ellen tried to eat you.” - Ludacris
8. “Justin has the voice of an angel … and the driving skills of Stevie Wonder.” - Kevin Hart
9. “Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters.” - Ludacris
And all the while, Biebs had to sit there and just take it.
10. “You have such a huge career… behind you.” - Jeff Ross
11. “Thank you for letting me be here. Actually, you should thank me for being here in your extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. I hope it doesn’t work.” - Hannibal Buress
Not all the jokes were at Justin’s expense though – as everyone was a target.
12. “You might know Ludacris from your mom’s ‘That’s What I Call Music’ CD.” – SNL’s Pete Davidson
And Bieber got his own back right at the end, with this line:
13. “What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
Still, can’t have been easy for Biebs.
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