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Dublin: 5 °C Monday 25 November, 2024

10 lies Irish people tell themselves on a midweek night out

Sure go for the one…

SO YOU’RE GOING out, on a school night. Bold.

Just try to recognise these lies you may tell yourself.

1. I won’t go out

Why are you out then, eh?

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2. I’ll go for one

Never, in the history of the universe, has an Irish person gone for one and had just the one.

Nine pints of Guinness John Picken John Picken

3. I can’t go before my round

You totally could, these people owe you at least 10 drinks from nights gone by.

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4. They’ll pay me back

Sure. Sure…

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5. I’ll get the last bus

You’ll be closer to getting the first bus in the morning than the last one tonight, don’t cod yourself.

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6. Ah sure tomorrow won’t be too bad

Tomorrow will now most likely be the most stressful day you’ve ever had in work. Enjoy it with that hangover, breathe it in.

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7. I’m not even drunk

Your dodgy solo dancing in the middle of a midweek empty dancefloor begs to differ.

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8. I’ve made a commitment now, I might as well stay

LEAVE. For the love of God, GO.

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9. I’m just going to the loo

You’re legging it home, don’t lie. About time.

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10. This kebab will make me feel better in the morning

No it won’t. It may provide some soakage, but you really don’t need those cheese chips on the side.

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