MATTRESS MICK HAS made a rap video about mattresses.

It’s called Back With A Bang, and it is a thing of great strangeness and wonder. This is the cover.

And here, without further ado, are the most brainstem-twistingly weird moments.

1. When Mick arrives in a Delorean, stunning a passing old dear, and then looks like he’s struggling to get out

2. When this woman appears to deliver a belting chorus of “WANNA TALK MATTRESSES”

Yes, that is a puppet monkey. No, we don’t know.

Heads up for these lines that immediately follow:

I have two hundred channels on my mattress TV. I take two spoons of mattress in my mattress tea.

3. Every single thing about this part

4. When Mick is just chilling in his limo with some plastic cups

5. This.

With a special note for the length of his trousers.

6. How quickly this slogan gets in your head

7. And when Mick ‘wakes up’ and realises it was all a dream.

Wow. Just… wow.

You can, if you so wish, buy the song on iTunes here.

More: Your chance to actually meet Mattress Mick is here, karaoke style!>