OH, YAY. YOUR favourite band are playing, but in an outdoor venue…
Prepare yourself.
1. It will most certainly rain
It’s not a matter of wearing a rain jacket or not, it’s how many you should wear . Don’t even think about wearing tan or doing your hair. It will all end up in a mess of sweat and rain.
2. On that note, your umbrella will be taken off you
So badly needed, so easily confiscated at the security gates.
3. And your schneaky naggin
Great, they caught us. We thought they’d think we just had an extra arm. Now you must queue for an hour for pre-poured beer which you’ll then have to lug around in a flimsy carrier that may as well be made of tissue paper. Life’s so hard.
They do taste well out of plastic cups though, why is that?
4. Your pint barely consists of any beer
It’s basically a glass of water now.
5. Outdoor toilets are the devil’s playhouse
So hard to use after a few watery pints, and always jammers. Don’t get us started on the hand gel. Give us water or give us death.
6. Food trucks deteriorate slowly throughout the gig
The END of the gig is when you want a big manky hotdog, but now the mustard looks like it’s thrown up on itself and your hands are nasty enough at the moment as it is.
7. You look a general state
Sweat + rain + muck + jumping around = unsightly appearances. Just forget about it, wear those promo ponchos and frizzy hair loud and proud. If the sun makes an appearance you’ll be forced to remove your hood and unveil the true horrors.
8. Bye bye belongings
We loved you so much phone. Why did we have to keep you in the air recording during torrential rain?
9. The mass exodus at the end
You can check in, but you can never leave. Getting home from the Iveagh Gardens isn’t bad, in fairness. Godspeed, everyone.
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