JALAPENOS.
Some of us just can’t hack them at all.
1. First of all, you just can’t enjoy them because they set your mouth on fire
You shouldn’t have to have a pint of milk just to tolerate some food.
2. They absolutely ruin otherwise delicious foods
How do you turn a beautiful experience like eating pizza into a living nightmare? Simple! Just stick a jalapeno pepper on there.
3. Let’s be real: jalapeno peppers are the wasps of the vegetable world
You: “Do you really want to hurt me?”
Jalapenos: “Yes.”
4. Have you ever rubbed your eye after handling a jalapeno? Because it is the worst
Damn you, jalapenos. Sneaky bastards.
5. But seriously, it spoils everything
Guacamole, nachos, pizza. All made worse by jalapenos.
6. There’s nothing more tragic than getting a plate of nachos covered in jalapenos and being like, “Oh great, now I have to pick all these jalapenos off”
7. And sometimes they just sneak up on you out of nowhere
“Ooh, is that a green pepper there? NOPE NOPE NOPE.”
8. If not enjoying the sensation of your mouth being on fire makes you a wimp, so be it.
*downs pint of milk*
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