OUR FRENCH BRETHREN have become the latest country to fall under the spell of Penneys.

The first ever Primark store in France opening in Marseille yesterday, and to say they were excited was an understatement:

Now, far be it from us to attempt to teach the French anything about fashion, but we do know a thing or two about Penneys…

1. You will go in expecting to spend €20. You will spend €80. Always €80

2. Forget the changing room

You will queue for 27 minutes, during which time you will grow to despise everything you clutch in your sweaty hands.

You will sweat even more when you get in there, and get your head stuck in the armhole of an ill-advised dress.

Just try everything on on the shop floor.

3. You will buy 13 things, but you will never wear at least 4 of them

You will get home and realise you have purchased 3 of the same vest top and a YOLO t-shirt that you will never, ever and should never, ever wear.

Ebay / Primark Ebay / Primark / Primark

4. Get used to queues

The queues are ever-present. And they’ll get you at the tills with their bewildering displays of lip glosses and breath fresheners.

5. Practice saying “Merci, Primark”

It’s the French equivalent of “Thanks, Penneys”.

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