Gumtree Gumtree

A GUY CALLED David up in Newry is selling his used white van on Gumtree.

It’s a Seat Inca TDI, and it’s seen some stuff. But it’s been out of action for a while:

To put a long story short, some lad took the hump when my friend shifted his girlfriend. Sh** went down and the van hada be kept outa the road.

Oh, and it was never taxed:

It was never in trouble with police but I did a fair bit of jookin in her cuz I never taxed it. Straight diesel in the book but but a Turbo Diesel engine fitted so she’s a good bit faster than a straight diesel.

Plus it may have seen a bit of dodgy diesel in its time – but David has a solution:

There’s a cat airbrushed on the bonnet and he looks like he’s cutting through it with his claws. It could be handy if you come up to a checkpoint with no tax or a bitta red in her, it might be enough to scare the cop from stopping ya.

David also posted his actual, real mobile number (as far as we can tell anyway) on the site:

It seems like David was most likely making up some of his tall tales. Luckily, the PSNI also found it funny.

But they were less than impressed by the tax and red diesel confessions:

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BUSTED.

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