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A Definitive Ranking Of Penny Sweets, From Worst To Best

Not all penny sweets are created equal.

We stopped off at a proper old sweet shop on our drive up to Manchester. So many jars filled with lollies, reminds me of my lolly jar necklaces! #pennysweets #lollyshop #nostagia Instagram / saturdaylollipop Instagram / saturdaylollipop / saturdaylollipop

WAS THERE ANYTHING nicer than getting a whole 50p to spend on sweets? Of course you’d get your bars and crisps, but the real task was spending the change on penny sweets.

This is a ranking of the most popular penny sweets from worst to best - our decision is final.

Clove rock

clove-rock-sweets-100g-1698-p Confectionaffection Confectionaffection

Kind of rude that they even tried to peddle these as ‘sweets’.

White bon bons

toffee-bonbons Chocolatebuttons Chocolatebuttons

Oh, that’s supposed to be toffee flavour? Could have fooled us.

Licorice Allsorts

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They may be quite pretty to look at, but the texture is that of an old shoe. No thanks.

Black Jacks

Black-Jacks-1BAR-CHE-BLJ Keepitsweet Keepitsweet

A big fat NO to the black teeth and tongue that swiftly followed eating a Black Jack.

Bananas

candy-foam-bananas Mycandyshop Mycandyshop

They’re fine, but definitely a last resort, penny sweet-wise.

Cola bottles

kingsway-cola-bottles-3kg-bag-44078-p Americansweets Americansweets

These pale in comparison to their fizzy brethren.

Sour ropes

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There was perhaps too much sugar to deal with here. That isn’t to say they tasted bad, but that eating one was a quick way to a sore tummy.

Green bon bons

chewy-apple-bon-bons-203-p Weluvsweets Weluvsweets

The only bon bons that matter. However, there are points lost for the workout they’d give your jaw as you tried to chew them.

Rhubarb and custard

Rhubarb_and_Custard Sweetieworld Sweetieworld

One of the few hard sweets that actually paid off, taste-wise. Mmm.

Refreshers

Refresher-Chews-1SWI-CHE-RCH Keepitsweet Keepitsweet

So hard to get that blue wrapper off. So hard to stop yourself eating the thing whole, blue wrapper and all.

Fizzy cola bottles

fizzy-cola-bottles Weddingsbyclaire Weddingsbyclaire

Really, the only cola bottle sweet you’d actually want. It’s all about that extra layer of sugar, man.

Milk bottles

milk_bottles3 Allsorts4u Allsorts4u

Foamy, vanilla-flavoured goodness. Not an exciting sweet, but an essential addition to any bag nonetheless.

Those big sour keys

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These could be a little more expensive (3-5p instead of 1p, perhaps) but by god did you get a lot of bang for your extra few pennies.

White mice

White_Mice Sweetieworld Sweetieworld

There’s something about that cheap white chocolate that enchants us, even now.

Milk teeth

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That powdered sugar residue they’d leave on your actual teeth. Divine.

Fruit Salad

fruit-salad-chews-464-p Weluvsweets Weluvsweets

Sweet manna from heaven! (We’d totally buy a Fruit Salad-scented perfume, BTW.)

Flying saucers

Flying-Saucers-1KIN-SHE-FLS Keepitsweet Keepitsweet

Let’s consider what’s amazing about flying saucers:

  • With those bright colours, they looked TERRIBLE for you, and would definitely have had your mam muttering about E numbers.
  • They were filled with sugar.
  • The edible paper ‘saucer’. Delightful.
  • Did we mention they were filled with sugar?

No other sweet could conceivably take the top spot. Now, meet you at the corner shop for some pick’n'mix?

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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