YESTERDAY, A POLL revealed that Waterford is the horniest county in Ireland.
The poll conducted by EliteSingles.ie examined user responses to the statement “I have a strong desire for sex” and found that Waterfordians had the biggest libido.
The poll may be highly unscientific, but that hasn’t stopped those who hail from the Déise from feeling proud.
We know what you’re thinking — why are people from Waterford so horny?
We have some theories.
1. It’s all that fiery Viking blood
Waterford is the oldest city in Ireland, having been first settled by Vikings in 853. And with all that fiery Viking blood coursing through your veins, you’re going to do one of two things:
- Become John Mullane
- Try get the ride
Simple, really.
2. Waterfordians are literally surrounded by phallic objects
Eh, have you even seen Reginald’s Tower? Or what about the Clock Tower? Or the Round Tower in Ardmore?
If you were bombarded with such phallic imagery on a daily basis, you’d be feeling randy too.
3. As it’s the sunny south east, the tops are regularly off
Situated on the coast, Waterford people are accustomed to a tropical climate and, as such, regularly get their tops off.
Pasty Irish torsos? Sickened to not be from Waterford, to be honest.
4. But we’re also very repressed
And, as evidence has shown, repression tends to make people pretty horny.
5. That accent, though
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It’s hard not to feel frisky when you have someone addressing you as “boy” or “girl” at the end of every sentence.
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*fans self*
6. Two words: sausage blaas
Two points on this:
- Blaas are a very sensual bread — soft, pillowy, floury
- Sausages are suggestive.
CAN YOU BLAME THE PEOPLE OF WATERFORD FOR HAVING URGES?
Case closed.
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