NOTHING SAYS, “IT’S Christmas” quite like the RTÉ Christmas Guide.
A few days ago, the magazine unveiled the cover for this year’s issue and, much like last year, we have questions.
1. Doesn’t Ryan Tubridy look like someone from a Jane Austen show with those sideburns?
“Give me the Colin Firth from Pride and Prejudice.”
2. Why does Ray D’Arcy look like he’s desperately trying to get Ryan and Graham’s attention?
Doesn’t he sort of look like he’s tugging at Ryan’s arm and saying, “Lads, listen to my joke. Lads, lads, lads…”
Still, though. At least he’s graduated from merely appearing on Ryan Tubridy’s jumper.
3. And what did they do to Graham’s dashing beard?
Graham hasn’t looked this baby-faced since he did a jig in a caravan all those years ago.
4. Er, what have they done to poor Uncle Gaybo?
Well, that’s… unfortunate.
5. That feeling when your order gets called at the chipper
“Garlic cheese chip, that’s me!”
6. Why is this bleak Fair City/Dickens mash-up so funny?
Is it the sight of Bryan Dobson skitting in the background? Is it Denise McCormack’s no-nonsense, “Just gimme the slop” expression?
7. Is it mandatory for Pat Shortt to be featured on the cover every year?
This year marks the first year in yonks that he’s not featured on the main cover, but if you take out your magnifying glass, you’ll spot this.
Has Pat Shortt signed some sort of binding contract with the RTÉ Guide guaranteeing him a spot on the cover every year? Very curious indeed.
8. They didn’t do justice to Marty Morrissey’s eyebrows, if you ask us
Marty’s eyebrows should always be out front and centre, if you ask us.
Although the man himself seems more concerned that they’ve portrayed him as being a good singer.
9. And finally… look at those dates
No telly listing for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day! It’s a disgrace, Joe.
Truly the worst end to 2016.
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