IT’S A HARD world out there. It’s an even harder city, there’s so much to be afraid of. Like…
1. Getting your food snatched by a seagull
2. Seagulls in general, now that they’re the size of dogs
3. Pigeon shite
4. Falling down one of these:
5. Large groups of tourists walking slowly with Guinness hats on
6. St Patrick’s day in town, in general
7. Getting stuck on a packed bus with no room to get out
8. The person who sits beside you when there’s loads of other seats free
9. Having no money on your Leap when you go to get on
10. Cyclists running you over at the junction on Dame Street
11. Forgetting to scan on the Luas
12. Finding Coppers receipts in your bag the next morning
13. Accidentally finding yourself in a pub in Temple Bar and paying €8 for a pint
14. Chuggers
15. Getting screamed at by the Viking Tour
16. Falling asleep on the Luas and ending up in the wash
17. Or on the DART, and ending up in Bray
18. Being caught short and having to use the toilets in the Talbot Centre
19. Reading about your local take out closure on those lists the FSAI release every few months
20. Using an outdoor ATM
21. Being left standing for ages in Supervalu while waiting on someone to verify your alcohol on the self-service
22. Pulling out of your drive and seeing a bin truck blocking the road
23. The Luas works
24. Talking about the Luas works
25. Getting blown into the Liffey when you cross Millennium bridge on a windy day
26. When you leave Dublin and see their road speed limits
27. Traffic on match days
28. Forgetting to pay the m50 toll and racking up a five number figure
29. The rental page on Daft
30. Bumping into someone you hate, the risk is real at every second of every day
31. And finally… literally everything about the nitelink
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