ADULTHOOD IS SUPPOSED to start at 18. PAH. Try, eternal kidulthood, diagnosed by these highly-scientific signs.
1. The horrible contradiction of wanting to stay in, versus going out
You decide to stay in because you’re jaded and have to be productive tomorrow, but one check of your phone and the FOMO hits.
2. You’re having a hard time adapting to being tired ALL the time
Staying up until 1am is just habit now, but oh, you still have to go to work at 8am.
3. The harsh realisation that the washing and ironing fairy isn’t coming back
So now you just don’t wash and iron your clothes until you have a batch big enough.
It’s only logical.
4. Your diet is one constant contradiction
You always wanted to have cereal for dinner as a kid… now you have no choice.
5. Your tastebuds have developed but you can’t cook
Yeah, you’re REALLY not feeling waffles and fish fingers again tonight, but what choice to you have, really?
6. Living on your own isn’t quite the dream you imagined it to be
You’re young, free, independent, and living with four other friends. Oh freedom… oh bin charges… oh hair in the drain and no hot water.
7. You want to sleep all the time, but have no time to do it
Gone are the days when you can have a guilt free nap at 6pm, wake at seven and chill for the evening. Saying that, there’s no one stopping you from staying in bed all day Sunday.
Swings and roundabouts really.
8. You’re beginning to suspect that you will never feel like an adult
You’re genuinely shocked when you don’t get asked for I.D. in the off licence, and feel like an imposter when included in grown up conversations.
9. You can pretty take anyone you want home, whenever you want
No more sneaking around… now, just to actually find the time for a love life.
10. You’ve been forced to make some tough decisions in those Lidl aisles
All bad, of course, before rushing home to mammy for a free dinner.
11. The line between clean and filthy gets thinner and thinner
You have grown to realise that a clean house is a happy house, but then comes the actual… cleaning.
The dust… you never noticed it so much.
12. Your life progress? Ah sure, it’s different times…
Your parents had HOW many kids at your age? Nah.
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