1. You sign off your texts with at least four x’s
You’re guilty of sending an ‘x’ to everyone — your boss, the Domino’s delivery man, etc.
And that’s to say nothing of when you’ve had a few drinks.
2. And you’ve been known to use this guy to excess
3. By day you’re all like…
4. And at night you’re sharing photos of your 3 in 1/garlic cheese chips/spice bag with everyone in your Whatsapp group
5. In fact, this tweet basically sums up your entire vibe
6. You know that this hairstyle is code for “my bra is off and I’m not leaving the house again today”
It’s been a long day, okay?
7. But you’re still actively trying to perfect a “messy bun” that’s acceptable to wear outside
8. You can spot when someone is wearing a Penneys Maximise bra from a mile away
(Because you own several yourself.)
9. Once September arrives, you rush to the shops to buy several of these
10. If you ever become famous, you’ll happily become a Cocoa Brown spokeswoman
In fact, you already have your spiel prepared… because you’ve delivered it to all your mates a thousand times.
I’m telling you, girls, Cocoa Brown is the way to go. Honestly. And it’s available in all good Penneys stores for just €6.90. *winks to camera*
11. You know that standing facing the camera is not an option
It’s either standing to the side with your hand firmly planted on your hip/head tilted slightly or nothing.
12. You have definitely gone out to the delivery man while still in your pyjamas at some point
Haters gonna hate.
13. You don’t judge a book by its cover, but you certainly judge a girl by her eyebrows
Bitching about people’s eyebrows is in your top five favourite hobbies.
14. In fact, the best compliment you can think of is someone complimenting your eyebrows
Your mate: “You’ve got really good eyebrows, hun”
You:
15. By day, you have no cheekbones to speak of. When evening comes, you’re all like, “Oh, these cheekbones? Yes, I know. I’m just blessed with good genes.”
16. You reserve your most withering putdowns for when you see bad attempts at contouring
Burn.
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.
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