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Friday 8 November, 2024
Friday 8 November, 2024
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The 14 stages of last-minute exam cramming
FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS, the last-minute cram is a rite of passage.
Once you’ve done one, you tell yourself you’ll never do it again. (Until the next exam.)
9am, the morning before: Denial
Twenty-four hours is loads of time to revise four months of notes. Loads. Of. Time.
10am: More denial
There can’t be that much to go over. Let’s have a look at these notes…
11am: The shocking realisation
Oh good god. There is so much to do. THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO.
12pm: Preparation
But first, you have to get food in. Tea, crisps, rolls, chocolate, energy drinks. Brain food, y’know?
12.30pm: Consultation
Now it’s time to harangue the poor souls in your class Facebook group.
“Do you think this will be on the exam? Do you though? TELL ME.”
1pm: Bargaining
For every one hour of study, you get ten minutes of fun internet! That should work.
2pm. Procrastination
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For every one hour of fun internet, you got ten minutes of study. Oops.
4pm: Victory (very small victory)
You revised for two hours without any distractions! You’re a winner! You can do anything!
6pm: Mental exhaustion
Learning is hard, yo. There must be something that can keep a hard-working student alert…
8pm: Coffee addiction
Why didn’t you think of this before? This is great! Every nerve in your body is ready to LEARN.
10pm: Coffee intervention
When you reach the end of the tin of Kenco, it’s time to have a good hard look at yourself.
12am: Physical exhaustion
Your bed is looking very inviting right now. Perhaps just a little nap… NO. MORE STUDYING.
2am: Crash and burn
Marketing is the study of life and living organisms. No. That doesn’t sound right. Marketing is…
3am: Admission of defeat
Your brain can’t take any more. The exam has won. Best get to bed, set five alarms, and pray for any guidance you can get.
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college students cram it up cramming Exams Last-minute Students