1. Promising yourself that you’re going to go to bed early tonight
Until you look at the clock and realise it’s 11.30pm.
Sure, you can’t go to bed now – you just started an episode of House of Cards.
2. Buying clothes that are too small as an incentive to lose weight
This never works.
Never.
3. Recording things instead of watching them because you’re “not in the mood”
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That very serious documentary you taped a few weeks ago? You’re never going to be “in the mood” to watch it.
Don’t lie to yourself.
4. Trying to take photos at concerts
You go for this…
And end up with this.
5. Pretending that you’re just out for “a few drinks”
Cut to…
6. Trying to win over trolls on social media
That troll that’s trying to get a rise out of you on Twitter? You’re never going to change his/her mind, regardless of how articulate/well-informed/reasonable your argument is.
Don’t even go there.
7. Constantly postponing software updates until it becomes a massive nightmare to deal with
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You’re just bringing misery on yourself.
8. Pushing the button on traffic lights like an absolute lunatic as if it’s ever going to speed up the process
“Wow, she’s pushed the button nine times now — she must really be in a rush. Better get the green light going!”
- no traffic lights ever
9. Having faith that these signs will ever work
“After Mary stuck a No Junk Mail sign to her letterbox, she never received junk mail again and lived happily ever after.”
Nothing but a fairytale, unfortunately.
:(
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