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THE TWO WEEKS we look forward to all year long. The holliers.
And yet, it oftens seems like what can go wrong will go wrong. Here’s a handy how-to guide of what NOT to do on your upcoming trip away.
Overpack - yet forget essentials
You were overweight with baggage and faced extortionate airport charges. You brought about 30 T-shirts for a week-long trip. And yet you forgot to bring enough underwear? What were you thinking?
Get stuck with the fold-out bed
Last one off the coach to the apartment block? Stuck with the fold-out bed in the living room. You won’t be getting lucky for the duration of the holiday, so.
Accidentally book into a family resort on a wild holiday
Or vice versa, in fact. Either way, you’ve managed to misjudge the vibe completely. Either you wanted to chill out and the pool is full of merry revellers, or you wanted to razz and there are only families in sight. Typical.
You need to BUILD the tan, not raze it to the ground on the first afternoon. You were perilously close to getting sunstroke, so you’ve to sit under a parasol for the rest of the h0liday. Sigh. Pass the after-sun.
Somehow you managed to get on the wrong side of the accommodation staff – especially the bar. You’re not welcome there any more, and it’s where everyone goes before the strip. Dire.
Nothing is worse than frayed tempers on a group holiday. One argument about sight-seeing spots and the mood is spoiled for days. DAYS.
Fall prey to a pickpocket
Joke is on that robber, though. Your phone was knackered anyway.
Miss your flight home
The panic. The turmoil. The sweat. Be it waking up just as it’s taking off, or fecking about after security and missing it in the airport, there is no worse sinking feeling than failing to catch your flight home.
Friday 22 November, 2024
Friday 22 November, 2024
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How to completely wreck your summer holidays
THE TWO WEEKS we look forward to all year long. The holliers.
And yet, it oftens seems like what can go wrong will go wrong. Here’s a handy how-to guide of what NOT to do on your upcoming trip away.
Overpack - yet forget essentials
You were overweight with baggage and faced extortionate airport charges. You brought about 30 T-shirts for a week-long trip. And yet you forgot to bring enough underwear? What were you thinking?
Get stuck with the fold-out bed
Last one off the coach to the apartment block? Stuck with the fold-out bed in the living room. You won’t be getting lucky for the duration of the holiday, so.
Image: The Chive
Accidentally book into a family resort on a wild holiday
Or vice versa, in fact. Either way, you’ve managed to misjudge the vibe completely. Either you wanted to chill out and the pool is full of merry revellers, or you wanted to razz and there are only families in sight. Typical.
Image: Flickr/UndeniablyNikki
Get incredibly burnt on the first day
You need to BUILD the tan, not raze it to the ground on the first afternoon. You were perilously close to getting sunstroke, so you’ve to sit under a parasol for the rest of the h0liday. Sigh. Pass the after-sun.
Image: Imgur
Dirty your bib in the hotel bar
Somehow you managed to get on the wrong side of the accommodation staff – especially the bar. You’re not welcome there any more, and it’s where everyone goes before the strip. Dire.
Image: Banned In Hollywood
Scratch the rental car
Possibly a fate worse than death, depending on whether or not you decided to splash out on the insurance.
Image: Car Addicts
Fall out with the group
Nothing is worse than frayed tempers on a group holiday. One argument about sight-seeing spots and the mood is spoiled for days. DAYS.
Fall prey to a pickpocket
Joke is on that robber, though. Your phone was knackered anyway.
Miss your flight home
The panic. The turmoil. The sweat. Be it waking up just as it’s taking off, or fecking about after security and missing it in the airport, there is no worse sinking feeling than failing to catch your flight home.
Image: Joke Bandit
What are some of the ways you’ve wrecked your holidays in the past? Share your pain in the comments.
Read: Here are the downsides to having a glorious summer>
Read: How to pull the ripcord on the worst conversations ever>
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