FANS OF THE the delightfully weird 90s game show The Crystal Maze will be delighted to hear that the show is coming back… Sort of.
There’s no chat yet about a TV show – but there will be a ‘live immersive experience’ in London (a maze, to you and me).
To whet your appetite, here’s an artist’s impression of the game from the official Crystal Maze Instagram account:
(The Richard O’Brien-like figure in the top left excites us greatly.)
Obviously this is amazing news to anyone who ever had a lot of feelings about the show. A lot of feelings.
1. You could sing along to every note in the theme tune
Dun dun dun derrr de dun dun dun derrrr de DUN.
2. You were 100% sure you could do a better job than the contestants
Oh come on! It’s there! It’s right there! And now you’re locked in. Clown.
3. You reckoned the sets looked proper hi-tech
Of course, they look extremely dated now, but that Futuristic zone was pretty much how you envisaged ~the future~ would look like.
4. You mentally prepared your own team out of your most competent friends
“John is good at Skill, and Mary would be perfect for the Physical games. I will be specialising in Mystery, OF COURSE.”
5. When you found out the teams weren’t actually mates, your world fell apart
The teams were made up of individual applicants who met for the first time on the day before filming the episode. It’s like they didn’t even CARE about our strategy.
6. You realised the final challenge was actually impossible
But it didn’t stop you badmouthing the contestants. The gold sheets are clearly over there! Clowns.
7. It didn’t matter that the prizes were muck
Getting on the show was a reward in itself.
8. And you coveted the ‘I Cracked The Crystal Maze’ souvenir
*looks up Crystal Maze commemorative crystals on eBay*
9. Richard O’Brien was weird as hell
The clothes, the harmonica, his open and unconcerned trash-talking of the contestants. And Mumsey, of course. Richard, we love you.
10. But no one could replace him as a presenter
They tried (Ed Tudor-Pole, who are ya), but you can’t just replace the genius who gave us the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
11. And they still haven’t made a game show to better it
Nope. None. Long live the Crystal Maze!
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